my self essay university level

Student Essays

18 Best Written Essays on Myself [ Primary, High School, College ]

Writing an essay or Paragraph about Myself is the important part of our school exam, college, university or even during professional exams. Writing an Essay to Describe Myself is essential for school, college exams or tests. Read 18 Best written Essays on My self topic for Children & Students with quotes & images

Essays on Myself | Myself Writing, Essays & Paragraphs with Quotes | For Primary, High School & College Level Students

You are needed to write about yourself that describes you in best words. As it is said that practice makes the perfect. Once you have read and written about yourself a dozen or so times you become able to know what to write and what not to write about yourself. Writing an Essay on About Myself or Yourself is one of the most interesting and easiest job provided you know its basics.

As, everyone has got a different set of qualities, when you are writing an essay about yourself, you are supposed to write what you are in most interesting, engaging and creative manner. While you write you think about yourself and you know yourself better regarding your qualities and capabilities. This will increase your self awareness and interest apart from keeping you engaged without getting bored.

Writing a myself essay to describe you for your school, college, scholarship test or even for you interview introduction may seem easy at look. But whenever, you take up the pen you may often find yourself surrounded by the questions like what I myself am? what to write and how to write about yourself?

1. Long Essay on Myself For College Level Students

Among all the creatures on Earth, human being is definitely superior. Writing a few lines or words about myself to introduce, I feel myself to be tiny part of this entire world that is filled with the human beings around. I am a human. I myself am humble, kind, caring and courageous. I am most respected, loved and responsible human being. Though, it is quite hard to write about yourself yet I have tried myself best to express all about myself.

Hailing from a working class family, I am Rajesh. I am simple, sweet, confident and cunning fellow. My father is a renowned doctor who knows how to love his profession with passion and dedication. While my mother is a hardworking teacher at city public school whose only passion is to transform the lives of her students with knowledge and a good vision.

That’s I have learned, from the very start, the importance of passion, dedication, confidence and time management. We are four brothers and sisters among our parents and my grandmother. My family is what my parents had worked for, ie completely happy and satisfied one.

I am the youngest of my only brother and two sisters. My elder brother is just six years elder in age than me. My other two elder sisters are younger than my brother. Being the eldest one, sometimes, gives you the favors. Luckily, I am loved, cared and most favored upon in my all family.

I am the students of high school. My elder brother studies in university. One elder sister of mine is the college student whereas the the youngest sister of mine is studying class 10. That’s, I go to school with my younger sister. I wake up early in the morning and finish up all of my doings on exact time. We all pack up for our respective works. My siblings prepare for school, college and university.

My father, for hospital and my mother for nearby school. The values like hard work, time management, sincerity with work and dedication to purpose have been ingrained in our nature. Its true to say that a child becomes what the environment he gets in his home. All the essential humane qualities like sincerity, dedication, truth and honesty I do experience practically at my home.

The school is a place that truly helps shaping one’s personality. My school is like another Godsend gift for me. It is one of the best school in our entire vicinity. We are truly cared, rightly educated and well socialized here at our school. I myself feel proud of being a student here. I do take care of what is being taught and what is to learn. I respect my teachers, my fellow beings, my school and every thing that is associated with my school.

I am a good student, who actively participates in all activities, be it exams or extra curricular activities. The extracurricular activities like sports, quiz competitions, essays and speech competitions etc. are the heart of my institution. I myself am essay competition winner on various times.

Truly it is said, one can not study from the books alone. Instead, one has to learn from all extracurricular activities in which one participates. I myself am the best essay writer, cricket player, singer and dancer and topper in all exams. The Career planning is the very thing that irritates oneself. Without a sound career planning, right from the start, one can not stay on the right track. One has to do the things or set the goals in accordance to his or her broad career goals.

A man without a sound career planning is like a ship without the radar. It drifts and ultimately sinks down in the deep ocean. But unlike my father, who is a doctor, I myself feel a little interest in this profession. Though it is the best profession but one’s interest and aptitude differs. I myself wants to be a Civil servant to serve my people in my best capacity.

I am very much inspired from my maternal uncle who is the chief of police force. That truly inspires me so as I myself want to serve my nation by being a good civil servant. One’s future can be determined by what one has achieved today or what one is doing today. A man who dreams only for future and does nothing for tomorrow can be best named as  lazy and the pathetic person.

In that way, I dislike myself being called as a man without a vision and castle maker in sky. I do work for what I dream. So far, I have proved myself being the best one in all fields like in academic, extracurricular and in personal domains. All of this success, hard work, dedication, determination is truly credited to my parents who have made this possible for me.

Successes and failures are closely associated with one’s achievements and losses. One who achieves anything today has lost a thing yesterday. There is no completely successful man without the mixture of both failures and successes. That is to say, I failed a dozen of times. But, every failure made me stronger ever.

My family, especially my mother, has been the much source of encouragement and motivation for me. That is why I myself am a truly self inspired, strengthened and dedicated fellow today. I have learnt a lot from my mistakes and from my failures. I never regard my failure as a curse rather an opportunity to improve and to improvise.

What I myself regard life is a total pot of opportunities. One has to harness one’s skills and abilities to the maximum of one’s capacity. For every problem there is a solution. I regard the life as a blessing gift to humanity. One should strive hard to improve not only his lot but for his fellow beings.

The service of humanity is the best of all services. What I have learnt myself from my experience and struggles is that one should never cease working hard, be confident, positive and adoptable to all situations. The biggest success is that one becomes invincible. Only than, one can face the life in a full vigor and fullest of confidence.

Therefore, writing about myself, I m here to express myself that what I see, what I experience and what I plan for my life is the total manifestation of what I do today. I try myself to be humble, passionate, dedicated, hardworking and honest. I deem my parents as being my best mentors. I have learnt the real meaning and worth of life from my parents. I am with a happy, focused and hardworking family. That is definitely the greatest blessing of God for me.

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2. Myself Essay for Class 9 and 10th Students

Hailing from a middle class family of Bihar, I am Naresh Chukla. I am currently studying in class 10th. I feel glad to be the part of this great school with the such great friends, helpful and loving teachers and the sound school administration.

No one comes in this world at the stage where I am right now, without the support of family and friends. In fact, what I am today, is because of my family. My father is a reputable business man in our community. My mothers is a doctor. They both love their profession. That’s I have learned from my parents. That is,  the value of time, sincerity, hard work and dedication to the purpose.

We are three brothers and sisters. Being the eldest I am the most responsible from my brothers and sisters. I am in charge to guide and take care of my other siblings. We all study in the same school. Reading is my passion. I am an avid reader of Novels and history books. I have a keen interest in Indian History and classical architecture.

I love to read books that describe the rich history and civilization of ancient India. Apart from history, I love to read the novels of Shakespeare. Though I am rarely free from my routine works. But whenever I am free I love playing ludo game with my friends. I have been the top scorer in this game, in fact.

I have a little interest in online gaming. I rarely use my personal computer and Mobile device for games. I love to value my time for the good of my future. Friends are the best mirrors of a person. In fact, the circle of friends you chose to stay with, does define your personality and priorities. I am fortunate enough to have the best ever friends in my company.

Haresh is my best friends. Not only he is my best friend but he is my class fellow as well. He has been the top scorer in my class. He is, in fact, a kind, gentle and sincere individual.

I love time management and discipline in life. I have learned all of these value from my parents. My father is my true inspiration. He has groomed me like himself. I am quite inspired by him and that has been the single aim of my life to serve the people selflessly, as my father does.

Time is quite a precious commodity. One should exercise minimum care in utilizing one’s time. I have learned throughout all the years of my life, the good value of time and discipline. I love having the time management, sound strategy and clear cut goals in the life.

My life is full of experiments and achievements. I have got success many times and many times I have failed also. This all has truly taught me the importance of rising again and strike again. I continue to update myself to be the better version of myself. Although no one can be described in a few set of sentences. One need to have though command of oneself before going to write something about his life. That’s to say my life has become what is,  an essence of all of my achievements and struggles

3. Myself Essay for Class 8

Living in central city, Benars, I am Kajal. I am the student of class 8. My school is located about 10 minutes away from my home. I have 2 brothers who are elder to me and one younger sister. My younger sister also studies at my same school. We reach at school at the fixed time by our school’s bus. It is great to come school with your friends in school bus.

I am good at studies at my class. All of my teachers know me personally. I am punctual and dedicated. Not only I do my homework timely but also I assist my other class friends in their school works. I have been the position winner at my school since class 1. I have keen interest in English and history. During my free class timing I do sit at school library and read my favorite books there.

Our school regularly organize annual national events. I do participate in tabloids, dramas, speeches and essay writing competitions. I am good at all extracurricular activities. Not only at school, but also I take keen interest in works at my home. I am learning cooking and practicing yoga regularly. My mother has inspired me much. She has been good books reader and know social worker.

I value the personal development and human ethics. Your personality and yourself is what you have made it to be. One’s self is essentially linked to what one does and practice in his life. The honesty, dedication, sincerity and humbleness are the virtues one learns during his childhood life with family, friends and at his school. A good family gives the good children. That’s to say, I am proud of my parents for being the best in their conduct and dealing with everyone. I am truly inspired.

Life is meant to be lived passionately and with a vision to do good for your fellow beings. Keeping this aim in mind, I have always aspired to serve my people in whatever capacity I can. I am thankful to my parents, friends and school teachers for standing beside me in every step of life. I am truly lucky.

4. Myself Essay for Class 7

Myself Jiya Kumari. I live in citizen colony, Madras. I am the student of class 7 at Madras national public school. It is one of the oldest and best ever school in my town. I have two elder brothers and one younger sister. My father is government servant whereas, my mother is a doctor. We all live happily with our parents. I usually go on foot to my school that is adjacent to my house.

I reach school on exact time. I participate in school’s assembly. During the classes I give full attention to my studies. That’s to say, I am confident, caring and punctual student. I do my home work timely and help my fellow students in their tasks. I am also good at non academic activities like writing, dancing and sports. During my free class time in school I prefer to study books in school library

Apart from school activities, I assist my mother at my home. I am learning cooking. My father always praise me for my talent and aptitude. I am also good at drawing. I have won many drawing competitions at my school. I am extremely thankful to my parents, my school friends and my loving teacher for being kind and helpful to me.

Simplicity, sincerity and love has no parallel in human life. The one who possess all of it, never fails in life. A kind, sincere and passionate man is what precious gift in the face of a boy or girl, a student, a son, a father, husband or any one.

That’s to say, these all virtues are needed to learnt from one’s childhood. Therefore, I always value sincerity, kindness and dedication of purpose in my life. This is what my parents have taught me to keep it the single goal in my life.

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5. Myself Essay for class 6

Myself Krishna, hailing from civil lines area, Mumbai. I am the student of class 6, from Modern civil lines public school. I am the only son of my parents. My family include my sister my parents and grandfather. My father is an Engineer whereas, my mother is a good housewife.

Being the only son in my family I am most loved cared at by every one. I am slim, smart and good looking man with attractive personality. I am studying at one of the best schools of our area. My parents have made it possible for me to lean more and be a good person in future.

I am very punctual in my entire class. Being a genius student of my class, I am responsible for helping my other class fellows. I do help all of my class mates with great sincerity and dedication. I myself feel to be honored for being able to help others. My school doesn’t put emphasis on academic knowledge only. Instead, we are taught self discipline, confidence, sincerity, and dedication of purpose. I take great interest in science and Math.

In fact, I have won 3 science fair contests in our schools. I do watch sci fi movies and documentaries with great interest. My big purpose in life is to be a scientist. I wish to serve my nation. Apart from academic achievement I myself am is the good singer and cricketer. I do play cricket during my free time with my friends. In addition to that, I also attend classes at national dance academy to learn dancing.

Life is a great gift. Those people are really lucky who have got good family, friends and teachers. Since, they are instrumental behind the success of every man in this world. In that way, I feel very lucky and confident for being able to achieve all.

6. Myself Essay for Class 5

Coming from a well educated family of central city, Calcutta, I am Pooja Kapoor. I live in civil lines Calcutta. I study in 5th class in central city public school Calcutta. My father is a civil servant while my mother is the head of public hospital Calcutta. I have one brother and one sister. My grandmother also lives us. We are like a happy family. I do reach school at the fixed time.

Our driver drops all of us at our respective schools. My elder sister studies in high school whereas, my elder brother studies in college. I love my school. It is like a family to me. I love my teachers and my class fellows. We are taught in a most cooperative and kind way. That’s why, the students of my school always get good positions in exams and various competitions. I am an active talker and representative of my school. I do organize my class and coordinate with school teachers. I also take part in extracurricular activities like singing, quiz competitions, dancing, essay writing, speeches etc.

I always get top positions in most of the competitions held at school. We do participate all national events at school with great excitement. Apart from my student life, I am very kind and cooperative son of my parents. However, sometimes I do react angrily when things do not go as per the plan.

But I have learned to control my emotions of anger and fear gradually. I am greatly interested in arts and literature. That’s why I always go to visit many historical places and literary events with my uncle. I understand the life as a precious gift. One should always spend it wisely. I have leaned from my parents to be honest, straightforward, bold and fearless in all situations. I am proud of it.

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7. Myself Essay for Class 4

Hailing from the main city area, Delhi, I am Jai Kumar. I study in class 4 in one of the best schools of our city. The name of my school is New foundation public school. My school is 20 minutes away from my home. My father drops me at school while going to his office.

I am very punctual and humble. I do take proper care of my time and try not to waste my time. I am very sincere to my class friends. In fact, I am one of the most favorite students of my teachers. Because I do my homework on time and try to learn more and more by studying hard.

Apart from being best at books, I do participate in school games and other events like singing, dancing, quiz and essay writing competition. I have won few medals in essay writing and sports competitions held in school. I am very responsible and honest in my personal conduct as well.

My parents has always taught me to be straightforward and bold. That is why my parents are proud of me always. I believe behind the success of any man there is great ever role by his parents and his sincere teachers as well. I myself feel lucky in that sense, being socialized under the shade and guidance of the most respected and loved fellows.

8. Myself Essay  Class 2 and 3 Students

Hailing from new defense colony, Mumbai, I myself am Rani Kaweeta. I study in class 3, in city public school, Mumbai. My school is just 10 minutes away from my home. I m very punctual. I care about my time, my work and my responsibilities. I do my home work sincerely and help my class fellows. Apart from that, I do assist my mother in her daily routine works at home.

I like cooking. I like eating simple yet tasty foods. I do play table tennis with my elder brother at my home. Apart from that I am good dancer and sweet singer as well. I like working hard with dedication and sincerity. I prepare myself best for all exams an try to help my friends as well. I believe one should work hard to be successful in life.

9. Myself Essay For Class 1

My name is Rajesh. I come from a well reputed family of Delhi. I am studying in class 1. My mother is a housewife and my father is a famous doctor.

We are two brothers and one sister. My elder brother studies in class 6th and my elder sister studies under class 3rd. We all studying in the same school. My hobby is drawing. I have secured many prizes in drawing and painting competition. In fact, I have always wanted to be an artist and painter.

My elder is the good friend of mine. She defends me on my side everywhere. In fact, we all brothers and sisters love each other. I value, hard work, dedication and sincerity in life. These values have been taught to us by our parents. During summer vacations I love to see and visit the beautiful places of my beloved countries.

I love my life, my school and my purpose and aim in life. I want to do something good for my community and my country men. I mean life to be great gift for some special purpose by God. Therefore, I value time in my life and strive hard to serve my country and my community.

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10 lines on Myself for KG Students

1. I am Guria, I am 4 years Old.

2. I study in class KG, at City memorial School.

3. I have two brothers and one sister.

4. We all come to school together.

5. I am very punctual and I always do my homework correctly.

6. I love watching cartoons and animal movies.

7. My favorite dish is fish and rice made by my mother.

8. Every night my grand mother tells me stories that I love most.

9. My father is a business man and my mother is a doctor.

10. We all live with great love, peace and care.

11. Like my mother, I also want to be a doctor.

12. I want to serve my country men with this profession.

10. Short Speech About Myself For Students

I am given two minutes to talk about myself. When I ponder at my being, at my existence and my physique, first thing that strike in my mind is my existence as a human. I am not more than a human.

I being a human possess such qualities which distinguish me from rest of the creature of God. God has endowed human with faculty of reasoning and intellect which is the most sublime characteristic in every man. My life as a human is full of adventures, experiences and experiments. I am twenty years old boy. I study in university.

I passed my college and school life where I faced many hardships and difficulties but I didn’t yield to those temporary forces of world. Even I got miserably failed twice during my school life. My life is amalgamation of failures and successes.

When I have a cursory glance at myself now. I truly stand indebted to my poor parents who not only supported me but encouraged me through hard times. They never lost their hope in me. After consequent failures in exams.  At last I succeeded and made my parents happy. I took second position at college level and joined university.

When I was selected in university I made my mind that I have to work every waking to succeed in exams. I am punctual, regular and dedicated to my studies. Since last two years at university, I am position holder and have topped in all curricular and extra curricular activities and events celebrated annually and monthly.

My aim and goal in life is to serve my family and my nation. I aim to be an army officer. Being a army officer I will safeguard the borders of my nation and provide safety and security to people.

11. Simple Essay on Me and Myself  For Students

Hey there! I am glad you are reading this, because that means you want to know more about me. Well, let me tell you something – I am an open book and I love talking about myself. My name is (Your Name), and in this essay, I am going to share with you all about me and myself.

I was born in (Place of Birth) on (Date of Birth), and I am the eldest among my siblings. My parents always say that they knew I was going to be a talkative and curious child, even before I could speak my first word. And true enough, as soon as I learned how to talk, I would constantly ask questions about everything around me. I was always curious to learn and explore.

As a child, my parents instilled in me the importance of education. They always told me that knowledge is power, and it is something that no one can ever take away from you. With that belief in mind, I excelled in my academics throughout my school years. I am grateful for the teachers who have guided and shaped me into the person I am today.

Hobbies and Interests

Apart from my studies, I have a plethora of hobbies and interests. I love playing sports, especially (Favorite Sport), which has been a part of my life since childhood. It has taught me discipline, teamwork, and the importance of perseverance. Music is also something that brings joy to my life. I love singing and playing instruments, and it is my ultimate stress buster.

Personal Values

Growing up, my parents always emphasized the importance of being kind, honest, and respectful towards others. These are values that I live by every day. I believe in treating everyone with empathy and compassion because you never know what someone else may be going through. I also strongly believe in standing up for what is right and using my voice to make a positive impact in the world.

Career Aspirations

As of now, I am still exploring different career paths, but one thing is for sure – I want to make a difference in people’s lives. Whether it is through medicine, education, or community service, my ultimate goal is to bring about positive change in society. I also have a keen interest in (Field of Interest), and I hope to pursue it further in the future.

Challenges Faced

Just like everyone else, I have faced my fair share of challenges in life. From academic pressure and self-doubt to personal struggles and setbacks, each obstacle has taught me valuable lessons and made me stronger. I believe that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Support System

I am truly blessed to have a loving family, supportive friends, and amazing mentors who have always been there for me through thick and thin. Their constant encouragement and belief in me have helped me overcome my fears and achieve my goals.

In conclusion, this is just a glimpse of who I am and what I stand for. There is so much more to me than what meets the eye, and I cannot wait to see where life takes me. I hope to continue learning, growing, and making a positive impact in the world around me. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me a little better! So, this was all about me and myself. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And remember, never be afraid to express yourself and share your story with the world! Keep shining!

12. Sample Essay About Yourself For College:

Writing an essay about yourself can be a daunting task. It’s not always easy to write about our own experiences, strengths and weaknesses, and future goals. However, as a college student, you will probably come across this assignment at some point in your academic journey. So, it’s important to know how to tackle this type of writing effectively.

Firstly, let’s start with the basics. An essay about yourself is a type of personal narrative that tells a story or shares insights about your life. It can range from a few paragraphs to several pages, depending on the requirements of your professor. The purpose of this assignment is for the reader (in this case, your professor) to get to know you better and understand what makes you unique as an individual.

Now, you may be wondering, “Why do I need to write about myself? Isn’t my academic performance enough to showcase my capabilities?” While it’s true that grades and test scores are important, they don’t always give a complete picture of who you are as a person. This essay allows you to showcase your personality, interests, and experiences outside of the classroom, which can make you stand out among other students.

So, where do you start? The first step is to brainstorm and come up with a list of ideas that you want to include in your essay. It could be anything from significant life events to personal achievements or even struggles that have shaped you into the person you are today. Remember, the goal is not just to list your accomplishments but to provide insight into who you are and what drives you.

Once you have a list of ideas, it’s time to organize them into a cohesive structure. A common format for writing an essay about yourself is the introduction-body-conclusion model. In the introduction, you can start with a hook or attention-grabber that will pique your reader’s interest. Then, provide a brief overview of what you will be discussing in your essay and end with a thesis statement that summarizes the main points.

In the body paragraphs, you can expand on each idea by providing specific examples and anecdotes. This is where you can showcase your writing skills and make the reader feel like they are getting to know you personally. Remember to stay focused on the main topic and avoid going off on tangents, as this can make your essay appear disorganized.

Finally, in the conclusion, you want to tie everything together and leave a lasting impression on the reader. You can summarize your main points and reiterate how they have shaped you into the person you are today. It’s also a good idea to end with a strong statement or call to action that will leave the reader with something to think about.

13. Simple Myself Essay For Interview:

When asked to write a simple essay about myself for an interview, I was initially stumped. I mean, how do you sum up your entire life in just 300 words? But then I realized that it’s not about listing every single detail or accomplishment, but rather highlighting the aspects of yourself that are most important and relevant to the job or opportunity at hand.

So, let me introduce myself. My name is [name], and I am a [age]-year-old [occupation/studying] from [hometown]. Growing up, I was always curious and eager to learn new things. This curiosity has stayed with me throughout my life and has pushed me to constantly seek out new challenges and experiences.

I believe that this thirst for knowledge and determination to succeed are my strongest qualities. They have helped me achieve academic success, such as graduating with [honors/awards] and constantly being on the Dean’s List. But more importantly, they have shaped my character and taught me resilience in the face of challenges.

One of the biggest challenges I faced was when I decided to pursue my dream of studying abroad. Leaving my comfort zone and moving to a new country was not an easy decision, but it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It taught me independence, adaptability, and cultural awareness. It also opened my eyes to different perspectives and allowed me to develop a global mindset.

Aside from academics, I am also passionate about [hobby/interest]. This has been my creative outlet and a way for me to destress from the demands of school or work. I believe that having a balance between work and leisure is crucial for overall well-being.

This brings me to why I am applying for this job/opportunity. [Explain how your qualities and experiences align with the job/opportunity]. I am excited about the challenges and growth opportunities that this position offers, and I am confident that my skills and passion make me a strong fit for the role.

In conclusion, while it may seem daunting to write about oneself, I hope this short essay has given you a glimpse into who I am. My determination, curiosity, and passion have driven me to succeed in both my personal and professional life, and I am eager to continue this journey with this job/opportunity.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications with you. So, this was a brief introduction about myself and I hope it gives you a better understanding of who I am as a person. Thank you for your time and consideration!

14. Short Essay on I am Unique:

As we go through life, we often hear the phrase “Be yourself” or “You are unique”. But what does it really mean to be unique? In simple terms, being unique means being one of a kind, unlike anyone else. And each and every one of us is unique in our own way.

We are all born with different physical features, personalities and talents. No two people are exactly the same, even identical twins have their own unique traits. This is what makes us stand out from one another and sets us apart from the rest of the world.

Being unique also means embracing our individuality and not conforming to society’s standards or expectations. It means having the courage to be true to ourselves and not being afraid to show our true colors.

One of the great things about being unique is that it allows us to bring something special and valuable to the world. We all have our own strengths, passions and ideas that can make a positive impact on those around us. By embracing our uniqueness, we can inspire and influence others in a way that no one else can.

However, being unique also comes with its challenges. It can be difficult to stand out in a world that constantly tries to make us fit into a certain mold. We may face criticism or judgement for being different, but it’s important to remember that our uniqueness is what makes us special and should be celebrated.

In conclusion, being unique means embracing our individuality, using our strengths to make a positive impact and not being afraid to be ourselves. So let’s embrace our uniqueness and inspire others to do the same. Remember, you are one of a kind and that is something to be proud of. So go out into the world with confidence, knowing that you are truly unique in every way.

15. Short Professional Essay on Myself:

I am sure by now you have read the essay on myself and have learned a few things about me. But, let’s dive deeper into my background and get to know each other better.

I was born in a small town in [insert location here]. My parents were hardworking individuals who instilled strong values in me from a young age. Growing up, I always had a love for learning and exploring new things. I was always curious about the world around me, which led me to have a broad range of interests.

In school, I excelled in both academics and extracurricular activities. I was a member of various clubs and organizations, which allowed me to develop my leadership skills. I also participated in sports teams and played the piano, which helped me to balance my academic pursuits with physical and artistic activities.

After completing high school, I pursued my passion for [insert subject here] by enrolling in college. It was a challenging yet rewarding experience as I learned more about the subject and myself. I met many new people from different backgrounds, all with their unique stories and perspectives. This exposure broadened my understanding of the world and helped me grow as an individual.

As I progressed through college, I began to think about my future career path. After much contemplation and guidance from my professors, I decided to pursue a career in [insert career here]. It was a decision that felt right for me, and I haven’t looked back since. My passion for this field continues to grow, and I am excited about the opportunities it presents.

Outside of academics and career pursuits, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. They have always been my support system and a source of joy in my life. I also love traveling and exploring new cultures; it allows me to experience different ways of life and broaden my perspectives even further.

In conclusion, I am a curious, driven, and open-minded individual who is always eager to learn and grow. I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today and look forward to what the future holds.

I hope this essay has given you a glimpse into who I am, and I look forward to getting to know you better as well. So, let’s continue to learn from each other and make our journey through life even more enriching. We never stop growing, and I am excited to see where our paths will lead us. Cheers to new adventures!

16.  5 Years from Now I See Myself Essay:

Wow, it’s crazy to think about where I’ll be in 5 years. Time just seems to fly by so quickly. But if I had to imagine where I see myself in 5 years, there are a few things that come to mind.

First and foremost, I hope that I am happy and healthy. Without our health, we really have nothing. So, in 5 years from now, I hope that I am still taking care of my physical and mental health. This means eating well, staying active, and making time for self-care activities.

But when it comes to other aspects of my life, there are a few things I would like to achieve in the next 5 years. For starters, I hope to have advanced in my career. I am currently working towards a specific goal, and I hope that by the 5-year mark, I will have achieved it or be well on my way to achieving it.

I also hope to have traveled more in the next 5 years. Traveling has always been a passion of mine, but unfortunately, life can get in the way sometimes. So, in the next 5 years, I hope to have had the opportunity to visit some new and exciting places, both within my own country and abroad.

On a personal level, I hope that in 5 years from now, I will have grown and developed as an individual. This could mean learning new skills or taking up new hobbies. It could also mean forming stronger relationships with loved ones and becoming more confident in who I am.

But ultimately, 5 years from now, I hope that I am content and at peace with where I am in life. Of course, there will always be room for growth and improvement, but as long as I am happy with the direction my life is headed, that’s all that matters.

It’s also important to note that life can be unpredictable. No matter how much we plan and try to envision our future, things can change in an instant. So, while I have certain goals and aspirations for the next 5 years, I am also open to whatever opportunities and challenges may come my way.

In conclusion, 5 years from now, I see myself as a happy, healthy, and fulfilled individual. I hope to have achieved personal and professional growth, as well as having had some unforgettable experiences along the way. But most importantly, I hope that in 5 years’ time, I am content with who I am and where I’m headed in life. So here’s to embracing the journey and making the most out of every moment!

17. Things I would Like to Change about Myself Essay:

As humans, change is a constant process. We are continuously evolving and adapting to new situations and challenges. However, when it comes to changing ourselves, we often find it challenging to do so. It requires us to look at our weaknesses and areas of improvement without any bias or judgement.

If given the chance, there are several things that I would like to change about myself. One of the most significant changes I would like to make is my procrastination habit. Procrastination has been a constant struggle for me, and it often leads to missed opportunities and last-minute stress. I want to change this habit by becoming more organized and disciplined in managing my time.

Another aspect that I would like to work on is my lack of confidence. There have been several instances where I have held myself back from trying new things or taking up challenges because of my self-doubt. I want to change this by becoming more self-assured and believing in my capabilities.

In addition to these, I also want to change my negative mindset. Sometimes, I find myself dwelling on the negatives instead of focusing on the positives. This often leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety. I want to change this by adopting a more positive outlook on life and embracing challenges as opportunities for growth.

Furthermore, I would like to change my communication skills. While I am comfortable communicating with people I know, I struggle with expressing myself in front of strangers or in unfamiliar situations. To overcome this, I want to work on my public speaking abilities and learn to effectively convey my thoughts and ideas.

Last but not least, I would like to change my tendency to compare myself with others. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I want to focus on my own journey and accomplishments instead of comparing myself with others.

In conclusion, there are several things that I would like to change about myself. These changes may not happen overnight, but with determination and effort, I believe that I can become a better version of myself. After all, as the saying goes, “Change begins from within.” So let’s embrace change and strive towards becoming the best versions of ourselves. So why not take the first step now? Let’s reflect on the things we would like to change and start working towards them. Remember, small changes can lead to big transformations in our lives.

18. Short Essay on Myself as a Social Worker:

As a social worker, I have always been passionate about helping others and making a positive impact in their lives. Growing up in a small community, I witnessed firsthand the struggles that people faced on a daily basis – whether it was poverty, domestic violence or mental health issues.

These experiences shaped my desire to become a social worker and make a difference in the world. It is a profession that requires empathy, compassion and a strong sense of social justice. And as I embark on this journey, I am constantly learning and evolving – both personally and professionally.

One of the most rewarding aspects of being a social worker is the opportunity to connect with diverse individuals from different backgrounds. Whether it’s working with children, families, or marginalized communities, each interaction leaves a lasting impact on me. I am constantly humbled by the strength and resilience of the people I work with, and it motivates me to do everything in my power to support them.

But being a social worker isn’t always easy. It can be emotionally taxing at times, and there are moments when I feel like giving up. However, the knowledge that I am making a positive difference in someone’s life keeps me going. It is a constant reminder that my work has meaning and purpose.

One of the most important skills I have developed as a social worker is the ability to listen without judgment. I have learned to truly hear what people are saying, and more importantly, what they are not saying. By creating a safe space for individuals to share their struggles, hopes and dreams, I am able to provide them with the support and resources they need to overcome their challenges.

Being a social worker is not just a job for me – it is my calling. It has taught me the value of human connection, and how small acts of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life. Every day, I am inspired by the strength and courage of the people I work with, and it reminds me of why I chose this path.

In a world where social issues are becoming increasingly complex, the role of a social worker is more important than ever. It is a profession that requires dedication, resilience, and a constant desire to learn and grow. And as I continue on this journey, I am grateful for the opportunity to make a positive impact in the lives of others and be a part of their journey towards healing and empowerment. So, I urge anyone considering a career in social work to embrace it with an open heart and mind – because there is no greater satisfaction than knowing you have made a difference in someone’s life.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. how do i write an essay about myself or how can i write about myself.

Writing an essay about myself is not that much difficult. A good essay on myself should contain the following points;

• 1. Brainstorm and jot down the your ideas in outline
• 2. Write about your experience and struggles in life.
• 3. Write clearly about your achievement as well as life failure
• 4. Say about your future goals.
• 5. Never hide and don’t shy to mention your personal opinion about life experience.
• 6. Be expressive and straightforward in your words
• 7. Proof read, look at the structure of your words and you are done

2. How can I write about Me?

Writing an essay about ‘me’ is the kind of composition that shows the intellectual and observational qualities of the writer. To write an essay about one’s own self, there needs to be clarity in words, expressiveness of ideas, and straightforward approach to write an essay that reflects one’s personality, life and achievements.

3. How can I introduce myself in English example?

In order to effectively introduce yourself in English, you have to keep in mind few things. The practical things that matter include, a clearer and straightforward expression, a conviction in words for life struggle, achievements, failure and future, and above all, an ability to be expressive, clear with careful selection of words

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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